The Tutor.com Blog

The holidays are about giving and sharing. In light of recent belt tightening, forget about hitting the mall to buy a sweater or a gift card. The best gift you could give yourself and others is time. Time to enjoy the company of family and friends, time to spend cooking your favorite dishes with your parents, and time to create long lasting memories with younger siblings and relatives.

If you are completing your college applications, time is something you know you don’t have. Still, by using the skills you’ve recently acquired from the rigorous college application process, you’ll be able to manage the joys of the holiday season. These four tips should help.

1. Start early to find the perfect presents.
If you are like me, you spend a lot of time browsing in stores to find the perfect gift. Minutes become hours and before you know it you’ve become a last minute shopper. Learn from the time you spent researching colleges. You started early, you thought about what factors mattered most to you in a college; you created a list of schools you’d be thrilled to attend and then you cut it down until it was manageable. Do the same for your family and friends’ presents. Do you know what their preferences are? While asking is the easiest way to find out, be an attentive listener and observer. Once you have a general idea of their tastes and needs, consider what factors matter most to them (e.g. functionality, style, comfort). Begin jotting down ideas early, you’ll save yourself time when you have a few minutes to yourself to do your holiday shopping.

2. Shop around.
Imagine doing all your holiday shopping at only one store? Like researching colleges, you need to use multiple sources to find the right gifts. You have used college guidebooks, college fairs, and ApplyWise.com to find the right college. Then, when you had your preliminary research done, you visited the colleges first hand. With that, use the internet and catalogs to create your preliminary list of gifts. Then, once you’ve done your research, you’ll actually go to the stores. This will not only save you time, but money—you won’t be distracted by last-minute sales and other stores where you might buy something that is not on your shopping list.

3. Take a break and involve others.
Like your college applications, you need to take a break to get some perspective. In fact, it is helpful to get feedback from people that know you. Like your college essays, you know that you can’t write a perfect personal statement by yourself. So, don’t think you can find perfect presents without some outside help. As you took a break and involved others in helping you with your college applications, do the same with your holiday shopping. Not only will you ease your stress levels, but you’ll also spread the joy of the season.

4. Personalize.
Remember, it’s the “thought that matters.” The Common Application is similar to the generic holiday card. Know your audience. Although you can send many Common Applications, it’s the personal statements and supplements that really matter. In the same way that you personalized each college interview and supplement, you need to take that extra minute to show that you care. Adding a personal note to a card is comparable to going that extra mile to show a particular college that you are perfect for that college. Taking an extra minute can go a long way to make a lasting impression and hopefully win you admission.

Following these steps will not only reduce your holiday stress, but also give you time to really enjoy your family and friends. Like a successful college application process, it is one that takes time. Overall, you can handle the holiday shopping season by starting early, doing your research, involving others and making this process as personal as possible.

Article by Katherine L. Cohen, PhD, Founder and CEO of IvyWise, LLC and ApplyWise.com

The air is crisp, your pencils are sharpened, and you’ve laid out your outfits for the first two weeks. School is back in session, and visions of organized binders and on-time assignments are dancing in your head. “This year is going to be different,” you say.

Fast forward three months, and you’ve been going to school in the same hoodie and ripped jeans for four days, handing in smudged homework one week late.

What happened?

It’s the same problem people who make big New Year’s resolutions face. You have lots of big ideas for change, but no concrete steps to address how to get there. The trick? Be specific about how you’re going to change.

Instead of “I’m going to get straight A’s”
Use “I am going to set aside time to study and re-write my notes every night. When I don’t understand something, I will ask for help.”

Instead of “I’m going to dress nicer”
Use “I’m going to lay out my outfits the night before”

Instead of “My assignments will all be early!”
Use “I’m going to write down when my assignments are due and set a reminder email or note a week ahead of deadline.”

Instead of “I’m going to make the team!”
Use “I’m going to schedule time to practice every morning and find a training buddy to keep me accountable.”

Clear, actionable plans will help you make the big changes you are planning.

Let us know if these tips helped!

In the United States there are approximately two million children that had a parent in either the active or reserve portion of the military stated the 2009 RAND study.  Researchers also found that across all age groups, children of military families had significantly higher levels of emotional difficulties than children in the general population with about one third of the children who participated in the survey reporting symptoms of anxiety higher than other studies of children.  One of the contributing factors to these symptoms of anxiety is having a parent deployed during war or just the general fear of that occurring.  As a parent who is going to be deployed, the caregiver during deployment, or an educator to children with a parent deployed there are a few ways to prepare the child for the departure of their parent whether you have just a few hours or month.  The key is to provide your child or student with reassurance of why you are doing this, where you are going, and most importantly that they are loved.

Be Honest

When you find out about deployment, tell your child as soon as possible and try not to spare any details.  Children are very perceptive and may assume something worse if they do not know all the facts.

Talk about your feelings

Many children feel that it may not be normal to have negative thoughts or feelings, let them know this is normal.  Also, be the first to share your feelings which will guide the children in talking about their feelings because many children may not have the vocabulary or capacity to communicate this on their own.

Explore the Destination.

Get out a map or a globe and show your child the route and location you will be at for the period of time you will not be at home.  Turn this into an educational experience, teaching them the weather trends, cultural norms, and popular products within the region you will be located using encyclopedias. Teachers could also use this as a classroom activity to Explore the Destination.

Communicate with your child’s school.

Talk with your child’s teacher and school administration to make them aware of the change the student will be going through.  This will give the administration a better understanding of why there may be emotional or behavioral changes in the student, as well as offer support.

If your child will have a new caregiver during your deployment, make sure to introduce the caregiver to your child’s teacher and administration to establish communication and avoid confusion for the future.

Memories.

Just a simple photograph for your child to carry with them at all times is very powerful when dealing with a deployed parent.  If you have a younger child, try to tape record yourself telling them their favorite bedtime story or favorite song to sing.  Videotapes of activities and great moments together are also very beneficial for the child to cope while you are away.  Ask your child for something they could take with them while they are away.  This could be a drawing or special mementos to help your child know you are thinking of them as well making them feel very important.

Create an activity to pass the time.

While you are away give the child an activity to pass the time.  Possible ideas are to create a chain where one link is added every day you are away.  The child could write how they are feeling that day on the link, and could give to you when you return.  This chain could also be used in the reverse manner, where it is created before you deploy with a link for everyday you will be gone.  The child could break a link each day using it as a countdown to your return.  For older children, choose a book to read that you may both enjoy, you can each read a passage a day and share your thoughts on the book when you return.

Make packing a fun family activity.

Don’t pack by yourself, have your family help to gain acceptance that you are leaving soon.  The child will feel important and that you care about their involvement.  You could also have your child decorate your footlocker, once again gaining importance and memories.

As an educator, many of the above tips apply whether it is exploring the deployed parent’s destination, establishing a relationship with the new caregiver, or simply sharing their feelings.  It is important that every adult in the child’s life understands the circumstances, is supportive, and is individually emotional supported to help the child cope and overcome the fears and frustrations of having a parent deployed.

Additional Resources on Pre-Deployment Preparation:

Deployment: Your Children and Separation: Military.com

How to prepare our children and stay involved in their education during deployment: Military Child Education Coalition

Homework assignments get doled out everyday in school—and every night thousands of students struggle with getting them all done. Whether it’s related to workload (students are getting more homework than ever) or difficulty (subjects get harder as the year goes on), homework is a significant source of stress for both students and parents.

The good news is that there are ways proactive steps parents can take to help decrease stress from homework. Not surprisingly, it’s similar to how parents manage stress in their own work and personal lives: schedule, prioritize and get help when you get stuck.

Schedule homework time. Just like you schedule time for soccer practice or dance lessons, schedule in homework time for your child every night to form a routine. It should be at a time that fits both of your schedules. The best time is right before or after dinner—early enough to stay focused on tackling tough subjects like algebra or chemistry.

Create a homework zone. Set aside a space in your home where your child can work on homework without major distractions (i.e. TV, video games and siblings who may already be done with their homework.) A comfortable spot for both of you is best, that way you can catch up on your own reading or work and still be available to answer questions your child may have.

Set goals and prioritize. Your child probably has assignments in different subjects from different teachers each night. Have your son or daughter review their list of assignments (if they don’t usually write them down, now is a good time to start) and estimate how long each will take. Then, help them prioritize which ones to do first. There’s no right or wrong order to completing homework assignments, but having an action plan can help your child stay focused.

Know when to get help. If your child is taking longer than expected to finish one problem or is getting frustrated, encourage them to take a break by working on something else for a while. If they come back to the problem and still can’t figure things out, don’t stay confused–Tutor.com can help get them back on track in just a few minutes.

Wrap things up each night. At the end of each homework session, have your child walk you through their completed assignments. Acknowledge the small accomplishments they made to keep them motivated.

Homework is supposed to reinforce what your child has worked on in school, and challenge them to apply what they’ve learned to new problems. That means homework is sometimes going to be frustrating, but knowing that help is available anytime your child gets stuck can keep him or her from giving up and falling behind.

You’ve been free of homework, class schedules and teachers for a couple of weeks, so it’s only natural that waking up at the crack of dawn and having to focus all day is a bit of a challenge. With these four tips, you’ll be motivated and focused in no time.

• Get your (good) habits back on track. Going to bed on time and eating a good breakfast will do wonders for your motivation.
• Do a little every day. Just like going swimming in cold water, sometimes the only way to get back in the swing of things is to jump in. But that doesn’t mean you have to spend five hours a day studying. If you stick to a daily schedule, you can break your work into small chunks. Read a chapter or two of history, make up some algebra flash cards and start an outline for your next book report. See? That’s not so bad.
• Ask for help. If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, reach out to a teacher or sign up for extra tutoring time at Tutor.com. Just like a sports coach, a tutor can help you stay motivated and reach the finish line in great shape.
• Give it time. It might take a couple of weeks for you to really feel on top of things again, and that’s okay. The important thing is to make a little progress every day.

As a student, managing priorities can mean the difference between having some time to yourself at the end of the day or facing a mountain-size to-do list by the end of the week. These tips will help you find time for good grades, great friends and even some much-needed R&R.

Tip #1: It all starts the night before.
How you feel tomorrow comes down to what you do today—so log off IM and get to bed early. But before you cash in for the night, make a list of everything you need to do the next day. When you wake up in the morning, eat a balanced breakfast (like oatmeal and juice; not donuts and soda) as you review your list and plan your day.

Tip #2: There are only 24 hours in the day.
Don’t over commit. Promising to help with the school fundraiser the same day you have a science exam, a soccer game and your little brother’s birthday bash is a recipe for exhaustion. Also, be present in what you are doing. If you set aside one hour to memorize formulas for tomorrow’s algebra quiz, don’t text message and surf the web during that time. One focused hour of studying can be the best formula of all—the kind that adds up to an “A.”

Tip #3: Tomorrow will fill up quicker than you think.
If you can get something done today, do it. Tomorrow there will be other distractions, so if you’re faced with the choice of watching that episode of The Hills—again—or studying for a test, go with studying, even if your test is two days away.

Tip #4: Think ahead—way ahead.
Life is made up of small choices, so think about what you can do today to reach your ultimate goals. Want to attend an Ivy League school? Sign up for an extracurricular activity or two, which will look great on your college application. Thinking about starting your own business after graduation? Start getting experience now by interning or working part-time at a company in the field you’re interested in.

Tip #5: “N-o” is ok.
Your boss offers you an extra shift, the art club needs your help painting banners and all your friends are catching a movie after school. If you feel overwhelmed, check in with your priorities—there’s only one of you, and stretching yourself too thin can lead to burnout. It’s okay to say, “Sorry, I’m busy.”

Are you totally stressed out about your homework? Well, you are not alone: Nearly 9 out of 10 kids stress out about homework, according to responses from students, teachers, and parents from the Metlife Survey of the American Teacher. The study also said that more than one third of students feel that way almost all the time. That’s some major stress load going on…

The good news is that there’s plenty you can do to deal with it. Try these anxiety-relieving tips and tell us what you think about homework and stress.

• First of all, take deep breaths! Yes, it’s true—just breathing deeply can make all the difference. Deep breaths force your neurological system to relax and calm you—your body can’t help but react in a positive way because it’s programmed that way.
• Break it down into smaller tasks. Sometimes the amount of homework you have to do makes it seem impossible. But the reality is that each big assignment is made up of smaller steps and right now, all you have to focus on is the first one.
• Plan ahead whenever possible. Trying to fit 6 hours worth of homework into one night is only going to up your stress level—do things ahead of time whenever you can.
• Look at how you use your time. Let’s get real for a minute…texting friends doesn’t take long, but every little interruption takes up time. And with all that’s on your plate these days—soccer practice, piano lessons, afterschool job, eating dinner, taking out the trash, etc.—every second counts.
• Work with a friend. Whether in real life or online with someone at Tutor.com, having someone else studying with you and on your side can help lower homework anxiety.
• If you are over-the-top stressed out about homework, then talk to your teacher and/or guidance counselor about it. Letting them know you’re stressed helps them know how to help you succeed.

You’ve got a physics test, an English paper due and a big track meet next week. Ooh, and don’t forget that dance everyone’s been talking up. If you find yourself inhaling food as you rush from the library to the mall or you notice a persistent ache in your lower jaw or the back of your neck, you probably need a little stress reduction. Here are five easy tips:

1. Exercise. You’ll be surprised by how much better you’ll feel if you take 30 minutes to practice yoga, go for a jog in the park or shoot some hoops. You’ll reduce those stress-inducing hormones and boost your endorphins (those feel-good chemicals). Engaging in a rhythmic activity like swimming also helps clear your head.

2. Spend some time with your dog. Or, heck, even your MP3 player. Doing something you enjoy that isn’t stressful, like playing with a beloved pet or tuning into the latest from Alicia Keys, gives you a much-needed mental rest.

3. Take a break when studying. Easier said than done, we know. But if you’re feeling anxious, you’re not going to be very productive and those chemistry formulas won’t stick. Walk around the block, grab a healthy snack or stand and breathe deeply. You’ll feel more relaxed if you take a break for just 10 minutes.

4. Laugh it up. Make social time a stress-relieving outlet by taking in a comedy show or renting a funny movie. And don’t forget your sense of humor. So you tripped down the stairs in front of your latest crush, or you fumbled your words during your history presentation—turn your social faux pas into a funny story. Laughter produces some of the same feel-good endorphins as exercise.

5. Just say no thanks. If all those social obligations make your head spin, you’re not going to enjoy them. Turning down a few will lighten your schedule and your stress. And sure, we know you need those extracurricular activities for your college applications, but you don’t need to take a leadership role in every one. Choose those that matter most to you and politely decline doing the others.

If you find yourself stressing out while studying for exams and doing your homework alone, you might need a new way to study. Getting your friends and classmates together and forming a study group is a helpful way to prepare for the big test. Study groups provide a smaller venue for you to ask questions that you might not want to ask in front of the whole class. By bouncing around ideas in a group, you’ll help each other pick up the slack on topics you weren’t clear on. So come on, grab your friends, and start studying! Here’s how:

• Get to know your classmates—you’ll want allies and study partners before the big exam.
• Five people is about as big as your study group should get. With fewer people, you’re more likely to stay on task.
• Decide with your study buddies a good day and time to meet, as well as a distraction-free location. Don’t forget to trade names, phone numbers, and email addresses with the members in your group.
• Determine what you will cover during the session—before meeting—so everyone can come prepared. Make sure you have specific questions ready to review and discuss.
• Use the group to come up with an outline for essay topics or brainstorm answers for questions that might show up on the exam. This is a great way to trade answers and ideas.
• For math related topics, try quizzing each other using flashcards and working through sample problems together.
• To keep everyone focused, limit study sessions to 60 minutes and stick to your study group’s agenda, so everything gets covered.

Vicissitude—have you reviewed that word for SAT prep yet? Vicissitudes are unexpected changes or fluctuations, and a great way to describe life’s ups and downs. For most people, high school is full of vicissitudes. Guidance counselors are there to help you with those ups-and-downs whether academic or social.

Your guidance counselor’s job is to help and to provide you with important resources and information to help you deal with whatever concerns you might have. If you have doubts about talking to a stranger about your problems or plans for the future, remember that your guidance counselor really does want to help. However, it’s up to you to remain responsible for your studies and goals. Below are five ways your high school guidance counselor can help you through the vicissitudes of being a high school student:

1. Listening. Guidance counselors will listen to you and offer an outsider’s advice. And, they can suggest specialists who deal with sensitive issues.
2. Networking. Guidance counselors are well connected. Take advantage of their contacts when it comes to college fairs and visits and searching for scholarships, tutoring, and part-time jobs.
3. Support. Looking for your own personal fan club? Guidance counselors are there to support you and guide you through high school, and encourage you to do your best.
4. Scheduling. When it comes to choosing classes for the upcoming semester, guidance counselors can help you create a schedule that not only fits your interests and abilities, but that looks good for colleges, too.
5. College Admissions. Knowing how to apply to college is a requirement of any guidance counselor. Let them assist you in the application and decision process—from entrance exams to deciding where to apply, and maybe even writing you a recommendation, your guidance counselor is a person you definitely need to get to know!

On TV, the first day of school usually shows students in crisp new clothes, clutching unblemished books next to blindingly shiny lockers. But in the real world…well, is anyone ever that chipper at seven in the morning with 30 pounds of books on their back? You may need to put some effort into getting back into the groove of school after a summer of being on your own schedule. We asked Joe DiMartino of the Center for Secondary School Redesign, for some ideas on how to ease your way into school again.

• Get your class schedule ASAP. You know those dreams where you can’t find your homeroom? Somewhere in this world, some kid is living that nightmare, and you don’t want that to be you. If you haven’t gotten it in the mail yet, call the school. If you can get it online, print it out. “You might have already gotten it in the spring, but schedules change so it makes sense to make sure you have an updated version,” DiMartino says.
• Pick up some basic school supplies before school starts. And, during the first few days of school, get a sense of what would work best for each particular class. Does your math class require a graphing calculator? Can you bring a thesaurus into English Lit? Ask the teacher what kind of notebook or other supplies she would recommend—it’s never too early to start earning brownie points. And by going with your friends after school to stock up, you can get the lowdown on summer gossip all at once.
• Read a book you choose. Spend some time during those first few days of school reading a good book—something you choose. Flipping through a non-required novel can help you transition back into the habit of reading. Says DiMartino: “Use the rest of the time before school starts to do some fun reading just so you can get back into the groove and re-remember that reading can be really pleasurable.”
• Reset your sleep clock. Summertime is a great time to get more sleep than you do during the school year, but as the first week of school approaches, you might want to start waking up a little earlier. “Try setting your alarm clock a little earlier than you normally do in order to start adjusting your sleeping habits,” says DiMartino. Other tips to make the morning routine smoother: Figure out a shower schedule (so you and your siblings don’t waste precious minutes arguing over water rights) and get an alarm clock that doesn’t allow you the option to hit snooze 10 times before getting up. After school, try to get some extra sleep during the first week —you’re getting a lot of information during those first few days and your brain needs rest to process it all. That’s right: We hereby give you permission to nap.
• Find your bearings. If you’re starting at a new school, make an effort to drag yourself there a little early on the first day in order to familiarize yourself before the place is mobbed with other kids. Says DiMartino: “Take the opportunity to walk around a bit and see what it’s like. You can even call the school and see whether you can check it out a day or two before hand. Where’s your locker? Where’s your homeroom? Figuring out that stuff sooner rather than later can help you avoid needless anxiety.”

Homework can be a pain, but there are some habits you can practice to make this daily task fun. Here are a few ways to make homework less painful.

1. Form a study group
   Which would you rather do: Hang out with your friends, or study for a history test? Probably the former…but studying and hanging out don’t need to be mutually exclusive activities. So why not form a study group? Make a date to do homework at a friend’s house a couple times a week. Having someone else in the room with you might help you talk through problems and get a new perspective on things.
2. Use your ears
   If your iPod never leaves your ears, record a chapter you’re studying while reading it aloud. That way you can refresh your memory before a test by listening to it while you’re at the gym or on your way to school.
3. Work, play, work
   On your desk, you probably have tape, a stapler and some pens…and most likely your cell phone. Set the alarm function to ring after 20 minutes, study until the alarm goes off and then take a five or 10 minute break to do something fun. It doesn’t matter what you do—you can IM a friend, watch part of a Tivo’d Gossip Girl episode or make a snack. Just do something to give your mind a quick break. We promise: you’ll return to your work feeling a little bit refreshed.

By following the advice above won’t turn homework into your favorite task, but will make it more tolerable. Now if you can only find out some way to take the stress out of doing it.